Day 20

My entire life, when someone apologized to me, I always said "oh, that's ok, don't worry about it". It didn't matter how much they hurt me or how wrong they were. I always downplayed my hurt so that they would not feel badly. I was watching a movie late the other night and one female character was apologizing to another for just about the worst thing you can do to your best friend. The recipient of the apology was still hurting – maybe not ready to forgive, perhaps she would never forgive, but I loved her response. She said "Thank you". She also said something like "I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you but Thank you." You knew that she was still hurting – that she may never forgive and it was OK. She was entitled.

The lesson I learned was that I can acknowledge an apology without downplaying the hurt, disappointment or whatever emotion I am entitled to feel. I don't need to take ownership for any part of the issue that I am not responsible for and if I forgive before I am ready to, or downplay my feelings, then I am not being true to myself. I am only giving in because I fear abandonment!

This is so very powerful!