Saturday, July 19, 2008
Day 13
It is funny how organized or together a person can feel until they begin a thorough inventory of their life. When I started this journey with Pegi Burdick, The Financial Whisperer, I thought that it would be a simple, straightforward look into why I have money fears. That simple look has turned into a 'whole person' makeover. I have the same fears about money as I have about almost everything in my life; success, creativity, relationships, and self image. I feel like my fears have kept me captured in a bubble. I can see what my life should or could be but I'm afraid to leave the safety of the bubble and venture forth into the life I was meant to lead.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Day 12
I'm trying to balance my Life Boxes (see Day 3).
My Romance/Relationship Box has been difficult because Quinn has been out of town on business for 1/2 of the week. This isn't likely to change until 3rd Qtr. Luckily for me (and our relationship) he enjoys having a date night – even an entire day. He is also very caring. When he returned home yesterday, we went to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants for lunch, then to a concert at The Grove. This afternoon, we are going to do our shopping and other errand - together.
My Family Box could use a little work. Although I connect with my family regularly, I think I need more quality time with several members of my family. My adult son and I need to work on reconnecting. I can see areas in his life, which affect me, that need adjustment. I don't want to let this get anymore out of whack than it is already. Helping him be more responsible and more accountable is going to be a challenge. However, as I become healthier, I will be able to deal with my son with greater confidence and authority!
My Business Box has been overflowing but now that my programming is done, testing complete (successfully, I might add!), and my marketing campaign set up (not implemented yet), I will be able to really get in and start building my business – but not devote so much time that I can't enjoy other parts of my life.
My Physical Health and Spiritual Boxes were somewhat neglected. When I have a huge project, I tend to focus on that and let the me stuff slide. This is an area I need to work on. It is an area that I always need to work on!
My Romance/Relationship Box has been difficult because Quinn has been out of town on business for 1/2 of the week. This isn't likely to change until 3rd Qtr. Luckily for me (and our relationship) he enjoys having a date night – even an entire day. He is also very caring. When he returned home yesterday, we went to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants for lunch, then to a concert at The Grove. This afternoon, we are going to do our shopping and other errand - together.
My Family Box could use a little work. Although I connect with my family regularly, I think I need more quality time with several members of my family. My adult son and I need to work on reconnecting. I can see areas in his life, which affect me, that need adjustment. I don't want to let this get anymore out of whack than it is already. Helping him be more responsible and more accountable is going to be a challenge. However, as I become healthier, I will be able to deal with my son with greater confidence and authority!
My Business Box has been overflowing but now that my programming is done, testing complete (successfully, I might add!), and my marketing campaign set up (not implemented yet), I will be able to really get in and start building my business – but not devote so much time that I can't enjoy other parts of my life.
My Physical Health and Spiritual Boxes were somewhat neglected. When I have a huge project, I tend to focus on that and let the me stuff slide. This is an area I need to work on. It is an area that I always need to work on!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Day 11
Pegi has suggested some books for me to read. I'm only familiar with one of the three, "The Artist's Way." I checked online for used copies of some of the recommended reads, but with shipping, from 3 different sellers (couldn't find all of them from the same used source), the total seemed a bit too high for used books. I called a few local used booksellers but was unable to locate two of the books within a reasonable driving distance. Unbelievable!
The List
"Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert – I googled Ms. Gilbert – went to her website – and she sounds like someone I would like. Her book is definitely on my list. It is going to be made into a movie. It sort of sounds like "Under the Tuscan Sun" meets "Food For The Heart". One of her articles was the inspiration for the movie "Coyote Ugly".
"Now Discover Your Strength" by Marcus Buckingham (33 examples of personalities) was suggested for my son and I to read and take the assessment test. I decided to read the reviews on the Buckingham book and didn't like what I saw. First of all, if you buy a used copy, you can't take the assessment test on line. It has a 1-use access code. Second, I noticed that many of the comments from non-HR and counselor types indicated the information in the book was" just a bunch of psycho/babble." Professionals liked the book, but then they probably understand the results and several said that they used it in conjunction with other evaluations. Not sure if this is the book for me/us! My son can take similar tests at school.
"The Artist's Way" by Julie Cameron – I think I have a copy of this somewhere in storage in one of my Dad's buildings. But, since I found a copy at a local used bookstore for only $5.95, it hardly seemed worth it to drive an hour to LA to find my copy – if I do in fact, have one. One of the reviews I read said that Cameron kept talking about God in a religious context. I started wondering if this book might not be my cup of tea. However, I bought it anyway. After reading the introduction, which I now try to do, Cameron explained that you don't have to believe in a particular entity – or even one at all to be successful with her 'program'. I do believe in a higher being, but I don't like to have it forced on me. The reviewer probably didn't read the intro! Cameron's explanation worked for me!
Today's mail brought me a notice from EDD. The government has extended some unemployment benefits. I was asked to re-file to see if I qualify for an additional 13 weeks of benefits. This would be great for me right now. Fingers crossed.
The List
"Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert – I googled Ms. Gilbert – went to her website – and she sounds like someone I would like. Her book is definitely on my list. It is going to be made into a movie. It sort of sounds like "Under the Tuscan Sun" meets "Food For The Heart". One of her articles was the inspiration for the movie "Coyote Ugly".
"Now Discover Your Strength" by Marcus Buckingham (33 examples of personalities) was suggested for my son and I to read and take the assessment test. I decided to read the reviews on the Buckingham book and didn't like what I saw. First of all, if you buy a used copy, you can't take the assessment test on line. It has a 1-use access code. Second, I noticed that many of the comments from non-HR and counselor types indicated the information in the book was" just a bunch of psycho/babble." Professionals liked the book, but then they probably understand the results and several said that they used it in conjunction with other evaluations. Not sure if this is the book for me/us! My son can take similar tests at school.
"The Artist's Way" by Julie Cameron – I think I have a copy of this somewhere in storage in one of my Dad's buildings. But, since I found a copy at a local used bookstore for only $5.95, it hardly seemed worth it to drive an hour to LA to find my copy – if I do in fact, have one. One of the reviews I read said that Cameron kept talking about God in a religious context. I started wondering if this book might not be my cup of tea. However, I bought it anyway. After reading the introduction, which I now try to do, Cameron explained that you don't have to believe in a particular entity – or even one at all to be successful with her 'program'. I do believe in a higher being, but I don't like to have it forced on me. The reviewer probably didn't read the intro! Cameron's explanation worked for me!
Today's mail brought me a notice from EDD. The government has extended some unemployment benefits. I was asked to re-file to see if I qualify for an additional 13 weeks of benefits. This would be great for me right now. Fingers crossed.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Day 10
Today, I read Pegi's paper "Our Home: Chaos Verses Perfection." Wow! Did this one hit a nerve! During our first session, Pegi asked me how orderly my house was. I sort of downplayed my feelings about the state of my home. For the past 5 years, I have had a love-hate relationship with my house. Parts of my house are clean and fairly orderly while other areas are a disaster. When I 'analyze' the areas that make me nuts, I find that I have allowed others to control these areas. Fortunately, I can close these rooms off from the rest of the house – but they still do exist – and I know they are there, begging for attention. Sometimes, the 'bad' parts make me want to walk out the front door and go somewhere else, somewhere orderly. Over the past year, I have become increasingly conscious of how scattered I feel when the house is out of sorts.
The Good
Our bedroom and bathroom are clean and pretty much in order. Our closets and dressers are organized. A couple of years ago, we stripped off the outdated wall covering in the bedroom and bathroom. The bedroom never got painted because the walls require some repair and a lot of prep. Last week, Quinn said he would hire a painter and have the bedroom painted in the next few weeks. In the master bathroom we did a mini makeover; walls painted, new vanity & faucet, new towel bars, floor, and lighting.
The family living spaces – living room, foyer, dining room, main bathroom, and laundry area are in order – and usually are. If we didn't have our scrappy little terrier dragging stuff in from the garden, the living room would be perfect all the time! I feel that the balance of personal items, furniture, and open space are right for us. We have a huge, walk-in pantry that I go through every year to clean out expired food and things that I know we aren't going to use. The pantry could use a little straightening though – about 30 minutes tops.
The kitchen is in fairly good order. The cupboards aren't overflowing, dishes are neatly stacked. We usually put the dishes in the dishwasher as soon as we are finished eating. Once the dishwasher is through its cycle, the clean dishes are put away. The few items throughout the day that require hand washing are put in the sink until after dinner. I'm fine with that because there is rarely much in the sink.
The Bad
The guest bedroom took a tumble for the worse when my son inherited some furniture from his father. My son's guitars and the excess furniture from his father are stored in that room. I'm not happy about that because about six months ago, Quinn and I painted the room and I purchased fabric for window coverings. We were going to put a daybed and bookcases in the room for my books (which are mostly in storage) and my scrapbook supplies. On the plus side, this room could be put to rights in about 2 hours, if I could find a place for the guitars, a few excess pieces of furniture, and did some closet reorganization. My son needs to help me with this!
Since my son is rarely home, his room seems to be a dropping off spot for laundry and for him to crash when he isn't at his girlfriend's. To make matters worse, he recently inherited a bunch of furniture from his father which makes my son's bedroom over crowded. On the bright side, I can close his bedroom door and pretend the room doesn't exist. However, that doesn't help my son learn to be organized or to take care of his belongings. My son needs to go on a 3 hours cleaning/organizing spree!
What used to be my office has been taken over by Quinn. We love spending time together, but the office was too small for both of us to comfortable work in. As soon as I moved my desk and bookcase into a corner of the living room, Quinn filled up the office with bookshelves, filing cabinets, and boxes of memorabilia he is listing and selling on Ebay. Unfortunately, his collections are too valuable to be stored in an outside storage shed. However, I HATE that the little space I created for myself long before I met Quinn is now over flowing with stuff. It was my own little sanctuary and I loved it. The kids were only allowed in when I invited them in. We used to snuggle up in a big comfy overstuffed chair that I have had my entire life, and have tea and biscuits and read or tell silly stories. Today, I really looked at my little room – saw it for what it has become and I cried. I need to let go of this because as long as we live in this house, that will be his office and I strongly feel that people need their own space to do with as they please.
The Ugly
Our garage currently contains inventory for two businesses (mine plus Quinn's), various keepsakes, clothes, etc. In addition, my son stores his fishing equipment and boxes of toys in the garage. Since my son is twenty-six and no longer plays with Legos, Masters of the Universe, and various action figures, most of the toys in the garage should be donated to charity. He has a few collections plus his train set, and a few really nice things like the rocking horse his Grandpa made for him, that he can keep to pass down to his children.
Quinn needs to move the classic car parts(which he is in the process of selling – it is a very slow process) that are in the garage into another storage area. He has promised to purchase a free standing unit to put on the side yard, outside the garage (and out of view from the house and garden) so that we can organize the garage.
Solutions
Pegi's formula for organization, The 3-Ds is pretty straightforward; Do (fix, take care of), Dump (get rid of – trash, charity, sell) and Delegate (assign someone to do/dump). We need to set up a schedule and all pitch in on this one.
The Good
Our bedroom and bathroom are clean and pretty much in order. Our closets and dressers are organized. A couple of years ago, we stripped off the outdated wall covering in the bedroom and bathroom. The bedroom never got painted because the walls require some repair and a lot of prep. Last week, Quinn said he would hire a painter and have the bedroom painted in the next few weeks. In the master bathroom we did a mini makeover; walls painted, new vanity & faucet, new towel bars, floor, and lighting.
The family living spaces – living room, foyer, dining room, main bathroom, and laundry area are in order – and usually are. If we didn't have our scrappy little terrier dragging stuff in from the garden, the living room would be perfect all the time! I feel that the balance of personal items, furniture, and open space are right for us. We have a huge, walk-in pantry that I go through every year to clean out expired food and things that I know we aren't going to use. The pantry could use a little straightening though – about 30 minutes tops.
The kitchen is in fairly good order. The cupboards aren't overflowing, dishes are neatly stacked. We usually put the dishes in the dishwasher as soon as we are finished eating. Once the dishwasher is through its cycle, the clean dishes are put away. The few items throughout the day that require hand washing are put in the sink until after dinner. I'm fine with that because there is rarely much in the sink.
The Bad
The guest bedroom took a tumble for the worse when my son inherited some furniture from his father. My son's guitars and the excess furniture from his father are stored in that room. I'm not happy about that because about six months ago, Quinn and I painted the room and I purchased fabric for window coverings. We were going to put a daybed and bookcases in the room for my books (which are mostly in storage) and my scrapbook supplies. On the plus side, this room could be put to rights in about 2 hours, if I could find a place for the guitars, a few excess pieces of furniture, and did some closet reorganization. My son needs to help me with this!
Since my son is rarely home, his room seems to be a dropping off spot for laundry and for him to crash when he isn't at his girlfriend's. To make matters worse, he recently inherited a bunch of furniture from his father which makes my son's bedroom over crowded. On the bright side, I can close his bedroom door and pretend the room doesn't exist. However, that doesn't help my son learn to be organized or to take care of his belongings. My son needs to go on a 3 hours cleaning/organizing spree!
What used to be my office has been taken over by Quinn. We love spending time together, but the office was too small for both of us to comfortable work in. As soon as I moved my desk and bookcase into a corner of the living room, Quinn filled up the office with bookshelves, filing cabinets, and boxes of memorabilia he is listing and selling on Ebay. Unfortunately, his collections are too valuable to be stored in an outside storage shed. However, I HATE that the little space I created for myself long before I met Quinn is now over flowing with stuff. It was my own little sanctuary and I loved it. The kids were only allowed in when I invited them in. We used to snuggle up in a big comfy overstuffed chair that I have had my entire life, and have tea and biscuits and read or tell silly stories. Today, I really looked at my little room – saw it for what it has become and I cried. I need to let go of this because as long as we live in this house, that will be his office and I strongly feel that people need their own space to do with as they please.
The Ugly
Our garage currently contains inventory for two businesses (mine plus Quinn's), various keepsakes, clothes, etc. In addition, my son stores his fishing equipment and boxes of toys in the garage. Since my son is twenty-six and no longer plays with Legos, Masters of the Universe, and various action figures, most of the toys in the garage should be donated to charity. He has a few collections plus his train set, and a few really nice things like the rocking horse his Grandpa made for him, that he can keep to pass down to his children.
Quinn needs to move the classic car parts(which he is in the process of selling – it is a very slow process) that are in the garage into another storage area. He has promised to purchase a free standing unit to put on the side yard, outside the garage (and out of view from the house and garden) so that we can organize the garage.
Solutions
Pegi's formula for organization, The 3-Ds is pretty straightforward; Do (fix, take care of), Dump (get rid of – trash, charity, sell) and Delegate (assign someone to do/dump). We need to set up a schedule and all pitch in on this one.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Day 9
I woke up humming "Woke up this morning feeling fine. There's something special on my mind." I can't believe that an old Herman's Hermits song would be stuck in my brain!
Yesterday afternoon, my mood turned melancholy. There is so much to think about – and so much to do. It was so hard not to become really depressed. I have really great parents – I grew up in a house filled with love. So I don't know why I have these hang-ups.
Well, that's not all together true. I do know why – and I don't blame-blame my parents. They were the product of their own upbringing. I just feel like I have so much to do to make a real change in my life. Some things I don't feel prepared to tackle just now. On the other hand, if I don't try to make changes, then I will have wasted my time. Grrrr!
Yesterday afternoon, my mood turned melancholy. There is so much to think about – and so much to do. It was so hard not to become really depressed. I have really great parents – I grew up in a house filled with love. So I don't know why I have these hang-ups.
Well, that's not all together true. I do know why – and I don't blame-blame my parents. They were the product of their own upbringing. I just feel like I have so much to do to make a real change in my life. Some things I don't feel prepared to tackle just now. On the other hand, if I don't try to make changes, then I will have wasted my time. Grrrr!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Day 8
Wow! My head is reeling. Pegi and I did a phone session this morning and I feel like I am on information overload. So many books to read – so many people to talk to – so many 'exercises' to do. I get that I am who I am at this moment in time because of the lessons I was taught as a child. I also get that with the right tools, I have the power to rewrite these lessons. I think that I can manage the solo parts; it is the talking to others that scares the heck out of me.
Years ago, a male friend and I wrote a screenplay together. I never felt that it was good enough but we pitched our idea anyway. I am supposed to contact my friend and talk to him about pitching it again – this week.
I have two female friends (ex-sisters-in-law) that are very dear to me. We love each other unconditionally. We talk about everything under the sun – but I know that I always hold back the bad/hurtful stuff. When we spend time together, they share everything with me but I don't do the same. I share bits and pieces—not whole truths. I am supposed to call or meet with both of them this week and share my journey with them.
I'm not sure that I can just dive right into this head first. I feel that I need to test the water with my toes first. Can I practice on someone else?
Years ago, a male friend and I wrote a screenplay together. I never felt that it was good enough but we pitched our idea anyway. I am supposed to contact my friend and talk to him about pitching it again – this week.
I have two female friends (ex-sisters-in-law) that are very dear to me. We love each other unconditionally. We talk about everything under the sun – but I know that I always hold back the bad/hurtful stuff. When we spend time together, they share everything with me but I don't do the same. I share bits and pieces—not whole truths. I am supposed to call or meet with both of them this week and share my journey with them.
I'm not sure that I can just dive right into this head first. I feel that I need to test the water with my toes first. Can I practice on someone else?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Day 7
I had a rough night and didn't sleep well so I slept in this morning. I ended up taking a walk mid-morning – after coffee. But I walked – and that was a good thing. I really didn't think much while I walked through the park. Instead, I noticed how much the trees had grown in the fifteen years since I took my son there to fish in the little pond. I was envious at how nice the new baseball diamonds are now, compared to ten years ago, when he played youth baseball. The light breeze made it easy to walk, even at a swift (for me) pace. If is amazing how a small thing like a forty minute walk can clear your mind.
I've been thinking about my 'health' box. Walking is great for the body (heart, lungs, metabolism) but I think it is also great for the mind as well. Today, it was a way for my mind to not work so hard. Sort of an escape from my current, all consuming project. Noticing the changes in my neighborhood and reflecting on great memories from the past are all good things. Aside from walking, drinking more water than coffee would be a good thing. I used to drink herbal tea in the afternoons – I think that would be a nice way to add a little 'me' time to my day as well. I think a few endorphins might have tiptoed into my brain!
I've been thinking about my 'health' box. Walking is great for the body (heart, lungs, metabolism) but I think it is also great for the mind as well. Today, it was a way for my mind to not work so hard. Sort of an escape from my current, all consuming project. Noticing the changes in my neighborhood and reflecting on great memories from the past are all good things. Aside from walking, drinking more water than coffee would be a good thing. I used to drink herbal tea in the afternoons – I think that would be a nice way to add a little 'me' time to my day as well. I think a few endorphins might have tiptoed into my brain!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
